Ft. Sanders

So the following week we followed up with Dr. Vick. I can’t say enough how blessed we are to have such a wonderful doctor and staff! They have supported us, loved us and prayed for us through this entire journey.

I am not sure what we expected at this doctors visit but we went… There is always concern for a mom when she is pregnant but when her baby is sick inside her it raises concern even more. I could start to “mirror” the baby’s symptoms of the Hydrops. My blood pressure can increase, I can have swelling, and basically my well being can be in jeopardy. This really worried Victor. He was worried about our baby but I was also a major concern if not his first. Victor knew I would give anything for the baby inside of me. As moms we know it is our job to protect and do everything for the baby inside us, as a dad it is his job to protect me and do everything he can for me.  I pray that no father ever has to worry or choose his wife over his child but I also understand. Victor and I are partners, LIFE partners. He needs to worry about me just like I need to worry about him. We are in this together and need each other. So by this point these doctor visits were to check up on me more than anything because like I said the doctors had given up hope on our baby.

Dr. Vick and Tina did not feel that there was as much fluid inside the baby as there had been. This was a plus! I also asked Dr. Vick if we should get a second opinion. When any baby or anyone for that matter is sick second opinions are sought, what made this any different? I wasn't ready to give up. I wanted to make sure as Abel’s mommy I did everything I could to help him. I didn't want to look back in 6 months and wish we had done something else, something more, anything different. We have had a friend that has been to Ft. Sanders for years and she speaks so highly of them that maybe we should make a visit. Dr. Vick agreed. If it helped me to know that I turned over every stone possible then I should do it, I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.

We got an appointment at Ft. Sanders with Dr. Roussis later that week. Victor wasn't sure he would make it to the beginning of the appointment, so I asked my dad to go with me. Like I said I have learned the hard way and did not plan on being at any doctor’s appointment by myself especially considering the circumstances. I am glad my dad got to come; he hadn't had the privilege of seeing our baby during a sonogram yet. Victor did make it for the entire appointment though and dad stayed. There is a comfort having a parent there, no matter how old you are. Dr. Roussis’ office was hands down wonderful! They took us back for a sonogram and we had two sonogram ladies.

They talked to us while they did their best to get good pictures of our baby. They answered my questions, not that I had a lot but I knew a few things to look for and ask about. They talked to us and told us what they were seeing. They pointed out Abel’s body parts and let us enjoy our baby on the screen as much as possible. (Check out that big ol' head, it's a Godwin head for sure because we can be notorious for that) After they got their pictures I got scooted off to the little consult room.

In this little consult room the genetic counselor came in, Teresa. She was so sweet. She referred to our baby as our little one, never like he was dead or gone but just a sick little one. We talked and she asked questions and we did our best to answer. We also asked questions and she did her best to answer. Before this appointment I had made the mistake of looking Hydrops up online. I couldn’t find out a lot about Hydrops so I looked up pictures. Dumbest thing ever! Now I had questions about my baby and questioned me as a mommy. Teresa helped answer some of these questions and ease some of my worries. She also helped explain physical traits possible of my baby and his illness some “what if possibilities”. Teresa was very friendly and reassuring. She gave a good since of comfort and Victor and I appreciated that.

After Teresa was done discussing our baby Dr. Roussis came in. Wow! I am not sure where he is from but his voice and accent were calming and soothing in some ways. (And turns out he smelt good, too) He asked us why we were there; all I could say was “because our baby is sick”. I think he appreciated that answer. Dr. Roussis started from the beginning; he built a foundation and worked his way up in explaining everything. He explained the Hydrops, although I do not feel that this was as large of a concern as it had been. It was now the bladder that had all the attention. There was a fear that because the bladder was so large they could not see if there was still a lot of fluid in the belly but this seemed to take a back seat. He took his time in explaining everything, discussing it all. At some point he asked if we had questions and I just said “no but I want to hug you.” He stood right up and hugged me and reassured me in that hug that I was doing a good job. WOW!  

Dr. Roussis was understanding, compassionate, and very knowledgeable. After discussing our baby’s condition he walked us through what we could do as parents. He was very cautious not to give his opinion on what “he thought was best” but the facts and the truth. Just because one option works best for one family does not mean it will for another. Dr. Roussis wanted us to have all the information so that WE could make the best decision for us and our family. That being said he was also very supportive in the fact that Victor and I needed to be on the same page no matter what. Yes, Victor needs to support me but I need to support him and together we both have to come to a decision and accept what that is. Dr. Roussis was very clear this this is a burden that we will both carry but it is a scar that I will bear.

The doctor discussed our options… 1) terminate 2) do nothing, leave this up to God 3) sometimes they can drain the bladder and do a shunt. Honestly at this time Dr. Roussis did not seem to feel a shunt was really an option. So we were left with option 1 or 2. I asked a question that had a glimmer of hope in it and Dr. Roussis looked at me and said “you are not ready to make any decisions right now. Go home think about it and whatever you decide let us know, we are here for you, Victor and your baby”.

We were the last ones to leave the doctor’s office that day it was almost 6. But we felt better. I felt like more questions had been answered than left unanswered. I knew we were trying and that was all we could do. There still was no good news. There was still nothing we could do to save our baby but we were trying and that was all we could do.