Spunky lil Abel

I really was trying to make a conscious effort to have some more upbeat exciting post for Abel’s Adventures. As I write these entries I realize that Abel’s adventures are a lot of my adventurers. Let’s face it- I can’t go anywhere without Abel and well Abel can’t go anywhere without me. Recently my adventures have been more of an emotional and spiritual journey and I have taken y’all on that journey with me at least as much as I can. The best adventure I have had though is being a mom, Abel’s mom!

When I first started this blog I thought Victor and I would show Abel the world. We would have crazy, wild, fun adventures as a family and make the most out of every day. We have, we have made the most out of each day, every event and every milestone. I have also realized that time, money, and resources can affect our adventures. Not only that a pregnant girl does not need to say ‘hike to the top of Mount Everest’ to give her baby a 'life experience'; just NOT going to happen! 1) it’s not smart, 2) I am pregnant, which means I am big and I have extra weight in places I am not used to 3) I can’t breathe 4) I have to pee every 4.6 minutes! So instead of trying to do the impossible we have found joy in smaller moments that are huge to Victor and me, as Abel’s parents. We have documented the past 33 weeks and enjoyed every moment. I have also learned to cherish my moments more with Victor, not taking anything for granted. These men in my life are true gifts and blessings from God.

I feel like I should make sure to share more of the good moments with every one that does follow this blog and our story. I feel like you, as the audience, need to see the sun at the end of the tunnel just as much as we need to. I will be honest though sometimes taking the time to write about the good moments takes a back seat; usually because the good moments are moments I want to live in and enjoy for as long as possible. Then something else comes up- life happens and the happy go-lucky stories get over looked or take a back seat. Some days, usually the harder days, it is easier to write and get my feelings out. It helps to put the sad, angry feelings on paper, a way to release them. Usually by the time I work through the emotions or start to work through them I see the light, I see God’s hand, I see His work and His plan. Sometimes that’s all I need.

I tell you all of this because my goal is to make sure I share more of our happy moments with you. Abel is a happy baby. We are a happy family. We have hard days but for the most part we have great bright wonderful days! I want to share these moments with you just as much if not more. It is the good days that we should cherish and remember more of. So in the near future I am going to try and make sure to share more of the happy times with you.

So our glimmer of sunshine was last week at our doctor’s appointment. If you haven’t already noticed I go see the doctor quite a bit! Like every other week. I give Abel pep talks on a regular basis; that we need some tricks out of him; how he needs to move his hand away from his face; how if he can work up the courage he can even do a back flip in there; how we just need him in a good position and any and all cooperation is greatly appreciated. Well, Thursday he was still down low, real low! When I say low I mean his head is below my panty line and that is where he likes to hang out all the time. On occasion I feel a head jab me down low, it hurts but I have to smile. It is a blessing to feel my little boy in there moving. He can jab and poke and pry this momma all he wants. Anyways, back to our visit… On Thursday Abel still had his hand on his face. Not quite as much as he has in the past so we got to see a little more of his profile! He is a cute little baby! We didn't get an actual picture, it really is hard to get a good picture because of the lack of fluid around him, but we saw him. We saw his nose and his mouth and his eyes. We even saw him open and close his mouth a couple of times!!! As I lay on the table getting the sonogram I told Tina how I have been trying to pep talk Abel into doing tricks- guess what this kid did…??? He stuck his tongue out at us! He did it twice! I mean seriously, cutest kid ever! He definitely has some spunk and attitude in him!!!

What a heartwarming moment! My little boy was sticking his tongue out at me and his dad right when I needed him to do some kind of ‘magical trick’. I mean seriously! I know Abel was already thinking “there ya go mom seriously not get off my back!” haha Oh man I sure love this kid!!

So there is our ray of sunshine… And it is a bright one!!!

We went to the other room to wait on Dr. Vick, he has a tough job somedays but is such an amazing man. He delivered the inevitable news that we knew would come sooner or later. Abel’s kidneys are starting to shut down.  That’s it. That’s all.

I wanted to ask questions. I wanted answers. But truth is- it is all in God’s hands. The body is an amazing thing. Creation of life is amazing. Growing a human is amazing. God’s plan is amazing. We know all this is amazing and breathe taking. As amazing as we know life is we also can’t predict life, we can’t predict any of it. As humans, as normal people we don’t know God’s plan. It really is simple- WE DON”T KNOW.

The cat kinda got my tongue in this visit. I wanted to ask questions but knew the answer already- WE DON’T KNOW.

Not knowing is hard. It is our nature to want to know more- that’s why we evolve. In this case though we can’t know, we don’t know and I am not sure I could handle knowing.

Accepting not knowing is sometimes the hardest part.

I won’t lie this hurt. It would hurt any mom to hear this news. It hurts to think that my baby’s body is getting to the point that he has had enough. It hurts my heart. That is all.

Dr. Vick said it best: “You can’t have one foot on yesterday and one foot on tomorrow because then you piss on today.” (Hopefully Dr. Vick doesn't mind me sharing his great words of wisdom with the world- but he is so right!)

As I said this is “normal” about this stage in pregnancy for a baby with a urethra blockage. So we just go with the flow. We keep loving Abel. We keep enjoying the jabs and kicks and pokes. We talk to Abel and cheer him on. Each day is a gift and we are glad to have the gift of today. We keep praying...

I pray for God's plan. I pray that I am able to carry Abel for as long as God will allow. I pray for his safety and comfort while inside me. I pray for God's plan. I pray a special prayer for Abel. I pray he is never in pain. I pray that he feels the love this world has already given him and continues to give him. I pray for strength and courage for Abel. I pray that my baby knows and feels how much his mommy and daddy love him; more than anything in the world. I pray that he is not scared and that he stays brave and strong. I pray that Jesus hold's my son close. I pray for God’s plan. I pray for Victor. I pray for myself.  I pray that we keep the strength needed for our son, for us, and for each other. I pray that God gives us courage to continue to face each day. I pray that we lean and trust in God more and more each day. I pray that God continues to show us the way and His light. I pray for God’s plan. I pray for peace. I pray for our families. Whatever God’s plan is I pray that God see’s us through. That He continues to give us strength and courage. I pray again for God’s plan. It is all in God’s hands so I continue to pray for His plan and His will.

That’s all we can do is pray...

Prayer is powerful...

Abel is a fighter and he has spunk! We know this and enjoy it every day.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel, it's God’s light and He will see us through.

Thank you all for your support, prayers and encouragement! Abel is one lucky little boy to already be so loved. Victor and I are blessed to have such wonderful family and friends that love us and our little boy unconditionally.

We are blessed!

We are thankful!