Finding Out!

I was never regular to the day. I tried to track my cycles but sometimes it worked and sometimes it was pointless. I was supposed to start on a Wednesday in October but my monthly “friend” was nowhere to be seen. Thursday came and went and still no visit. On Friday I told Victor I was 2 days late, but of course once I told him this I figured “my friend” would show up. Victor told me not to worry about it or stress over it and of course that is easier said than done.

The weekend came and we went on with business as normal. Saturday Victor was going to the grocery store so I told him to pick up a test just in case. I wasn't feeling pregnant but I was tired of wasting my money on them just to come back negative. By Saturday night Victor’s curiosity was starting to get to him too. He brought the test home and I sat it on the table. I wasn't really in a hurry for a rude awakening or the hurt that pregnancy test have brought in the past.

Sunday came and I was still putting off the test. Victor finally asked if I was going to take the test or not but I still wasn't ready to. We had a family gathering that evening for his Mammaw’s birthday. I didn't want bad news before hand and have to be around people if I wasn't really up to it. I mean let’s be honest when you are trying to conceive a baby any and every negative pregnancy test hurts. It hurts bad! It’s a sharp cut below the belt. It is like a stamp of failure, AGAIN. Some days you recover a little better some days it stings more and you just need your own time. The other side was if it was positive I didn't want to have to keep a secret around everyone who would probably see right through me and Victor. (His family can read him like a book, he wouldn't be able to hide any kind of secret, they would know "something" was up) So I waited a little longer.

When your husband knows you are peeing on a stick there is a little added pressure. Not that either one of you can change the outcome. It’s just that ‘special’ pressure to pee I guess, like someone is watching, even if no one is around. We got home from the family gathering and Victor was putting the windows back on the jeep so I went inside and had to pee. So what the heck lets pee on a stick and see what happens… A partial positive came up and showed up pretty fast! I freaked! I sure did stick my head out our bedroom window and yelled down to Victor to get up here! You could hear the urgency in my voice. He came running. Once he realized I wasn't in the kitchen he figured out it wasn't a bug so it must be THE TEST. He came to the bathroom and I showed him the partial positive (now when I say partial positive, it was more of the positive line than a negative line if that makes any since) and asked what he thought. He read the test, read the instructions, looked at the test, looked at the instructions, looked at me and said “I duno, your guess is as good as mine.”  (I mean after all this was the closest we had ever been to a positive test) We went back and forth a bit and decided to call a nurse friend that has helped me out way more than she has ever had to. (And we love her for everything including all my crazy calls) Remember it was a Sunday evening. I called and rambled on to her voice mail about this pregnancy test that I wasn't sure if I was reading right or how to read it, I didn't know what to do and then apologized for bothering her on a Sunday. She sure did call me back, like the wonderful person she is and told me to come in to the office in the morning to test my blood.

This is in no way the way I ever thought I would tell Victor he was going to be a daddy, FINALLY. I had thought of cute ways to break the news to him for forever. I wanted to make it special for him. I mean we have both been working hard for that positive test for a long time. I wanted him to remember it.  I wanted it to be special for both of US. HAHA fooled me on that plan. But at least we were together and could share in the good news. Too bad we just weren't sure if we should celebrate or not quite yet. Our hearts were still a little guarded. 

Somehow we are supposed to go to sleep and be rested for a Monday… sure…?

I woke up at like 5 and tried peeing on a stick again. Same results. I got back in bed and didn't say anything until Victor rolled over.  I looked at him and said I guess we’re going to have a baby! Now to lay there until we really had to get up and get our day started. This was a storm of emotions for us both.

I went to the doctors later that day. My friend saw a picture of the test along with the doctor and they both knew right off the bat we were pregnant! They took my blood just to check things out. But yup sure enough, WE WERE HAVING A BABY!

Long story short here: I wanted to keep it a bit of a secret, you know until we were a little out of the woods at least. Well that’s hard when your husband’s mom works for the GYNO along with his aunt and Mammaw. So that Monday night we told Victor’s mom and sister (his dad was at work). We told my dad and brother. I had to go back to the doctor that Wednesday just to double check my blood work so we were going to wait until then to tell the rest of the family. Wednesday we told his Mammaw and Papaw and “slowly” told the rest of our families. Keep in mind Victor has a huge very close knit family; news doesn't travel “slowly” around these people. But that is o.k. we wanted the prayers up front for whatever God had in His plan. These are the people that celebrate the good with you and pray and support you in the hard/bad times. We all deserved this celebration!