It was a glorious day!
Thursday we had a doctors appoint, our 28 week check up. To
be honest I had a lot of mixed emotions about this visit. It is so exciting to
be in the 3rd trimester but it’s also very unnerving. We are getting
closer… closer to what I don’t know but closer to something…
Come to find out Victor was starting to also have some
questions and mixed emotions as well. Our feelings are similar but our roles
are different; we handle our feelings differently and process them differently
too. As much as we know this, we still continue to find it out every time we try
to work through an emotional day/week on our own; then we realize we need our
partner and we need to communicate with each other, there is comfort in that.
Wednesday I was really looking forward to our visit. I
started talking to Abel about the visit; I really wanted him in a good position
for a good picture; it has been weeks since we were able to get a good one of our sweet baby.
Thursday morning came and I just had this uneasy feeling. I
can’t explain it but I was suddenly very anxious about the appointment. I was
scared. Not only was I having these uneasy feelings I wasn't feeling Abel move a
lot that morning. I didn't want to worry Victor about not feeling Abel- there
wasn't much of a point. There was nothing we could do, we were going to the
doctor and part of me felt like I was just being a worrier. I needed to give
these worries to God but I didn't realize it at that moment (if that makes sense) He was the
answer, He was in control.
We took separate cars to the appointment because I had to go
to work afterwards. On the way to the appointment I was praying out loud. I
wanted Abel to hear my heart but needed to talk to God. I just didn't feel
right but couldn't put my finger on what was wrong. I was talking to God about
my uneasy feelings and my fears… and once again God came through… my sweet baby
boy gave his momma a big ol’ kick! Seriously tears came to my eyes… God heard
my prayers, God heard my heart, and Abel was reassuring his momma he was OK in
there. It was another sweet moment God was giving me.
You know I am 31. I have had many prayers answered. I have
seen, felt, witnessed and been part of a lot of wonderful things God has done.
Yet I am still amazed every time He answers a prayer, or I witness His love, or
I see His mercy. He is a wonderful God!
Our appointment went well. We got to see Abel move a little
on the sonogram. When he moved I felt
it! This was a personal plus because I have wondered if what I feel really is
him or not. It has just been mommy doubt and I wanted some “proof” that it
really was Abel and not just my imagination.
I also figured that after some of the questions and feelings Victor had
been going through this week it was really good for him to see his son was
doing just fine in there. We tried to get a good picture of little Abel but it
just wasn't happening today. The pictures are kind of hard to see anyways
because of the lack of fluid. Even though I tried giving Abel a pep talk about
the appointment and we tried talking him through the appointment our little boy
just didn't want to move his hand off his face. So no good face pictures this
visit. Funny thing is though Victor sleeps with his hand on his face a lot too.
Father like son. This thought really makes me smile, it’s funny how babies get
these mannerisms before they are even here or know anything. It warms my heart
so much to know our son is already so much like his father. What a blessing!
We met with Dr. Vick and he said everything looked good. My
numbers were good, weight gain was good, and blood pressure was very good. He
made the comment that at this point they are really checking on me to make sure
my health stays in check. Victor asked his questions that he had been feeling over
the past week or so. And then Dr. Vick laid some more heavy news on us… The
bigger Abel gets inside of me (which is what he is supposed to do, it really is good he
is getting bigger) the more chance we have for umbilical cord issues. HELLO!?
WHAT?! Another words Abel could just accidentally trap the umbilical cord between
him and the sac wall and because of the lack of fluid he may not move as easily
to correct the pressure in time. The umbilical cord is Abel's life line right now, if its supply is stopped it wont be good. I swear as soon as you think you overcome one
thing and are in the clear there is another thing to worry about. But then
again this is why God says: “Come to me,
all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 I
mean I want my baby to grow but then again maybe selfishly I don’t so he has a
little more room in there to be OK longer… I am not sure if that thought really
makes sense or not. I just want to hold on to him as long as possible. I realize this is selfish though and now is
not that time to start being selfish. I will just make sure to be healthy for
the both of us. God has a plan and I have to continue to trust in His plan.
On the way home from work my heart still broke a little. I
was scared. Fear and the devil were trying to take over this wonderful blessed
day. I was talking to God again. I needed an attidute adjustment and it was one only God could give me. And then this wonderful song came on the
radio, You Are by Colton Dixon. Dang, God knows how to answer prayers and comfort me! (Make sure you check the link out, it is a great song!)
Another added bonus of today was Tyrah got to come over for
some friend time and dinner. She has tried so many times to feel Abel move but
it just doesn't happen. Funny side note: when she was pregnant with Colee I never
got to feel Colee move. I mean Colee could be doing back flips in there and as
soon as my hand would touch Tyrah’s belly Colee would freeze. I even tried
sneaking up on her but somehow Colee always knew it was me. Good thing she loves me today! Anyways tonight I had the
bright idea that I would lay down and see if that got Abel moving… it did!! My
BFF got to feel my baby! It was another sweet moment!
Like I said, today was a glorious day! Each day is a gift and
God continues to bless us in so many ways!
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