Check This Out..

This past Saturday our sweet baby Abel would have been 1 month old...

I have tried on many occasions to write, to share with you, to update all of our friends and family. It just isn’t that easy. Victor had mentioned on our way to the hospital to have Abel that he hoped I would continue to write that it was good for me. He was right. However, every time I have attempted to put thoughts onto paper it has been fake; not from the heart. I was trying to sound more optimistic than I really feel. I was trying to make the silver lining more than it really is. Our hearts are broken and the only way I can think to describe it is: “IT JUST SUCKS!”

We have had good days and not so good days…

I want to share with you all that has happened. I want to share the continued miracles. I want to share with you how we have survived; honestly, it’s only by the grace of God that we continue to try and carry on. I wish I could share with you the emotions of this journey but I can't, I have tried but words do not do justice. To be honest, I am not sure if words could do justice if I would want any other parent to have a clue to what this hurt is like. It is a looking glass I would rather not let any mother or father ever look into.  I would rather protect parents from these feelings and emotions than try and share them. Writing about all of these emotions is like stirring up a muddy pond that finally settled for a day. We have experienced emotions that I don’t want to describe, there is no lie it has been horrible the worse nightmare possible. These are emotions you can’t put words to; I am not ready to try and put words to them either. I am not ready to “work” my way through them in that kind of detail. When we have good days we want to enjoy our good days for what they are- good days. When we have bad days, we are lucky to get out of bed. And on our ‘normal’ days we are just glad to be on auto-pilot and make it through the day.

We are making it, we are trying, we are doing it together and that’s what matters.

Like I started off saying, I want to share with you the good… The good is what we have to hold on to, it is what we need to use to move forward with.

Today I sent off 270 ounces of breast milk to needy little babies!

This is our first donation of 270 ounces. There is still more in the freezer!

I don’t know why or how this thought ever came into my mind. But a long time ago I thought how cool it would be to be able to donate such a great resource to those in need. It is a priceless resource if you ask me. I didn’t know how I would donate or if I ever would I just thought it was cool. Looking back it was God planting a seed. He knew. (He always does)

After Abel was born a lovely lactation consultant named Lisa at UT Hospital helped put us in contact with Mother’s Milk Bank in Raleigh North Carolina. (Knoxville does not have a milk bank yet, that’s why I couldn’t donate locally.)

So we give back…

I have been pumping to donate the milk to little babies that need it; because of Abel we can do this! Breast milk is a great resource for all babies. It is especially helpful for sick, premature, or addicted babies. Breast milk has life-saving antibodies the protect preemies (and full-term babies) against disease, illness and intestinal infections. These babies are already fighting some of their biggest battles in those first couple of days or months of their lives and breast milk can help them in tremendous ways. Some of these baby’s moms just can’t produce enough breast milk if any to help their babies fight, grow and survive. Plus all the added stress mom and dad have just having a baby in the NICU. We have now been given the opportunity to help these babies and their families. I can only imagine the sigh of relief this can give a mom as she only wants the best for her fragile little baby. One less thing to worry about knowing their baby is getting all the nutrients it needs from breast milk which can help the baby now and as he/she grows into a healthy little person!

Abel continues to touch lives.

We thank you all for the prayers and support. If you are reading this and haven’t made a donation in honor of Abel to the UT Hospital's NICU please check out our GoFundMe page at www.gofundme.com/babyabelsadventure. Every dollar helps. Something little can make a big difference in someone else life. Just like a few ounces of milk can add up and change a life!

Love you guys and thanks for following our story!

Thank You

I have tried numerous times to put my feelings and emotions into words. I can’t right now…

There is no describing what the past 3 weeks have been like. It has been a roller coaster of goods and bads, tears and smiles, laughter and sobbing. We are healing. We are trying to cope. We are working through the emotions and the grieving process. It is a long road ahead…

God continues to hold us closely.

I know and believe Abel’s story is not over. It has just begun!

God is continuing to work miracles. You can see one of the many in all the donations in honor of Abel. How amazing is that!?! This little boy was here on earth for exactly as long as God intended but he is still doing great things! 

One day I hope to be able to share with you all the other ways God has shown His mercy. One day I hope to tell you all the other ways God has provided, how He continues to answer prayers…

I did want to take a second to thank you all for the outpouring of love and support. We have raised over $4000 in honor of Abel for UT’s NICU building fund! This is awesome and amazing to say the least. Victor and I are in awe of the generosity and support that everyone has shown.

Not having Abel here with me is indescribable. It is a hurt and heartbreak I pray that no mother should ever have to endure. No money can bring my baby back, no words can take away the pain. On a good day though it is a breath of fresh air to see the good that is happening. It is rewarding to know that Abel continues to live on and help others. It is reassuring to believe we are doing something right.

Thank you. Thank you for loving me and my family. Thank you all for the kind words and support. Thank you for each and every donation in honor of Abel. Thank you for the calls, text, cards and letters. Thank each of you for the prayers that never seized; God hears them all. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.